


Once and For All

by DetectiveRiley (RavenWhitecastle)



Series: The Sinner and the Saint [41]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Anger born of worry, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Samaritan, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23397649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenWhitecastle/pseuds/DetectiveRiley
Summary: Harold worries incessantly about John- where John is and what he's doing- but Harold is more worried about what John isn't doing, because of him.
Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese
Series: The Sinner and the Saint [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/940422
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Once and For All

**Author's Note:**

> i hate writing summaries d-do do do d-dooooo

Harold was pacing the kitchen floor when John finally came home well after dark. John had barely gotten in the door and started to take his jacket off before Harold was railing at him.

“Where the hell have you been?” Harold snapped, trying to sound stern but coming across as frantic. 

John blinked at him. “At the precinct.”

“At this hour?”

Shrugging, John added, “I was working late. Pulled some cold cases to follow up on.” Having removed his jacket and shoes, John padded to the living room, where Harold followed him, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“You can’t do that, John,” Harold hissed, “I was worried half to death. Wondering if you’d been discovered or captured, or-”

Harold couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence. John looked up to see Harold covering his mouth with one hand, the other still crossed in front of him.

John closed the distance between them. “Harold,” he murmured softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…” He bowed his head and clenched his fist. “I never meant to make you worry.”

Breathing in John’s presence, Harold nodded. “I know.” After a moment, he finally said what they were both thinking. “I can’t keep living like this.”

John was quick to agree. “Me either.”

Harold limped over to the couch to sit. John followed. “I can’t continue to worry about whether or not today’s the day you won’t come home,” Harold said shakily. 

“I know,” John murmured, “I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been going stir crazy cooped up here. I’ve just been trying to stay busy, until… well…”

“Until the other shoe drops?” Harold supplied. John nodded.

A heavy silence hung between them, as they stared at the floor, the air thick with their confessions. 

“You once wondered,” Harold whispered, “if we should spend some time apart.” John watched his partner silently. Harold continued, “You said it was for safety, so we would present multiple targets. So they couldn’t use us against each other. But in recent days, I wonder…” He trailed off for a moment. He looked up at John with tired eyes and asked, “Am I what’s keeping you here?”

John tilted his head. “I stayed in this house because you asked me to.”

Harold shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I just… I wonder if I’m keeping you from better things.”

John’s brow furrowed. “What would I go to? We have new lives now, with Samaritan watching, we can’t go far.”

Harold tensed. “But even as Detective Riley, you could… build a life. For yourself. You might even be comfortable, without Samaritan and the Machine, and… and me.”

John sat in stunned silence for a moment before he reached out to take Harold’s hand. “Harold,” he murmured, “Don’t even think it.” Harold met John’s gaze as John said, “I don’t want to build another life. I’m happy with this one.” Harold opened his mouth to protest, but John pressed on. “I don’t care about Samaritan, or the Machine. At least as far as this life goes. The only thing I care about is you. I want a life with  _ you _ .”

Harold blinked, moved by John’s profession. “...All right, John. I believe you.”

“But the real you,” John added, “No more Detective Riley or Professor Whistler.” He looked at Harold meaningfully as he carefully cupped Harold’s cheek. “The only way to do that is to keep fighting. So I’m not going anywhere. Not until we beat this thing, and especially not after.”

After a few seconds, Harold nodded shakily, leaning into John’s touch. “All right.” He moved over to lean into John’s embrace. “We need an endgame,” he sighed as John pulled Harold closer. “Things cannot go on like this forever.”

John nestled his chin into Harold’s hair. “You’ve been doing what you can with the Machine the way it is.”

“Starting tomorrow,” Harold started, “I’ll start working on a contingency plan myself. I can’t just wait for the Machine to come up with one.”

Nodding, John replied, “I’ll stop spending so much time at the precinct. Together, we’ll come up with something.”

Sighing, Harold closed his eyes. “Thank you, John.”

They sat like that for a while. Harold’s breathing slowly evened out, and he drifted off. John sat up, wondering what he could possibly do aside from sparing Harold’s nerves.


End file.
